I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
