shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
