stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
