I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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