I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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