ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
