so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
