You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
