Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
