how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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