is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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