I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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