Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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