I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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