she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
