Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
