Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
