census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
