The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
