Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
