idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
