it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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