I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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