try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
