I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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