cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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