planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
