he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
