So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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