She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
