I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
