Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
