He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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