Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
