So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
