I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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