so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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