and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I need a burrito and a hug.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
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