i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
