He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
