I wish I could punch you in the face.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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