HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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