I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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