we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
