What did we do last night that was yellow?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She bit a glass in half.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
