her vagine was all disorganized.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
