So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
