And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
