You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
