Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
