He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize