we're blogging at a bar
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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