My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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