FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
