So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
