remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
